KFM: A Little Freedom Goes a Long Way


I haven’t sat down in 11 1/2 years.  I am a servant by nature. I say that not as a virtue but as a serious flaw In my genetic make up.  I have taught my children that I will do for them whatever they ask. I am addicted to doing!

As an example: my 8-year old was outside playing with the neighbors. They ran over to the other mom to ask if she would turn on the hose to fill up the water table. That wise momma said, “I bet you can figure it out.”  As they walked away I heard my daughter mutter, “next time let’s ask my mom, she’s always does stuff for us.”

My first instinct was pride. Of course I will always do “stuff” for my children. Acts of service is my love language — my way of showing love for them and myself! I love to do “stuff” for people.

Then, way more slowly than it should have, it sank in. They just want me to do. It doesn’t matter if it’s a gift of the last exhausted breath of my day. They are so used to me doing whatever they need that I wasn’t letting them do necessary things for themselves!

So the next morning I started listening and what I heard was breathtaking.

My 11-year old stumbled down the steps and collapsed on the couch. “I’m still so tired…mom can you make my cereal?”  It was kind. It was gracious, and I even got a heartfelt thank you. He certainly didn’t take it for granted, but he definitely expected that I would do it….

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